Why is Infidelity Harmful?
Infidelity is the most destructive thing that can happen in a relationship. If a woman takes the decision to sleep with someone else, then it means that she does not value anymore the relationship she’s currently in.
Her reasons for taking the decision to cheat, could be various, because of curiosity, because of too much sexual desire, because of the circumstances where a guy insisted too much and she could not refuse, because of being too drunk etc. NO MATTER, what was the reason why she did it; it only means one single thing – THE END OF THE RELATIONSHIP!
We, men, are very possessive human beings. We are pride driven and very egoistic when it comes to the woman we love. And when she decides to lay in bed with a man, other than us, our pride and our ego gets seriously hurt.
In that case, there are only two choices we could make:
– Accept it, and get over it, and let the time heal the wound.
– Or end the relationship.
If you chose the first option you are very much in trouble, because first of all you will look weak and needy thus she’ll respect you less and she’ll be tempted to do it again; secondly you’ll suffer because of it for a long time and it will hardly ever pass, and thirdly you’ll always live with that fear of being cheated again.
It’s the worst option you can choose.
If you choose the second option there’s a lot of pain involved too; you’ll have to end the relationship and suffer for a good while because of losing your beloved woman.
But the good news is that it’s temporary and even though it will take you a few months to recover, after that you’ll forget about her and go on with your life.
So, if you read so far I believe we can agree that infidelity is a really destructive thing – and never leads to positive consequences for the relationship.
How to avoid being cheated on?
I am about to share with you one of the best ways to prevent infidelity from happening in your long distance relationship.
It’s true it’s not the only way to keep a girl faithful, but it’s one of the best, so pay close attention!
Freedom of Choice
When it comes to getting people to do or not do something, the worst thing you can do is to force them.
When forcing someone to do something the only thing that you’ll succeed in doing is to get that person to find any possible ways to free him/herself from being forced. That is just common wisdom.
In terms of preventing the situation where your girlfriend decides to cheat on you, forcing her to be faithful is a bad choice too.
If you become extremely jealous, controlling and keep telling her to be a good girl, the only thing you’ll succeed is to push her more from you and into the arms other men.
People tend to like doing what they are told NOT to do!
Now what Freedom of Choice means is that you never force your girl to stay faithful, just the opposite, you give her the freedom to cheat if she feels like it, if she thinks that this what she wants. But only as long as she takes responsibility for her actions and for the fact that your relationship will end after that.
What you do is:
1) Let her know that you DO NOT accept that your girl would cheat on you and explain the consequences of her doing so. If she ever thinks about being unfaithful then the relationship will end with no explanations.
“There are many women around that can cheat on their boyfriends without a second thought and you know what they’re called right? Well I do not want to be in a relationship with such a girl. I love you, and want you to be only mine; otherwise, the relationship will end with no explanations.”
2) Deliberately give her the freedom to choose if she wants to be faithful or not, as long as she takes responsibility for the consequences.
“Nobody is stopping you from sleeping with other guys. Feel free to do whatever you want. But keep in mind that if you do that, you have to forget about me forever.”
3) Let her know that if she ever cheats, no matter how much she’d try to keep it a secret, you’ll always find out about it.
“Listen, if I feel that something is wrong, and I’ll feel it for sure, then I’ll find a million ways to find out the truth. You won’t even imagine when and how I’ll discover that secret. So you better avoid it; and never assume that I won’t find out. Truth will always come out.
Now, this is a powerful way of dealing with the infidelity issue, because it puts the choice in her hands. It gives her the freedom to do that she wants, and does not force her to behave in a specific way.
It’s not you who keeps her from dating, sleeping with other guys, its herself that decides not to do it, because she wants to be with you.
If you restrict her to look at, or sleep with other men, then those men, will become “the forbidden fruit” for her, and they will be much more attractive in her eyes, but if you just allow her to do what she wants, all of a sudden it’s like…”okay that man is cool, I can have him , it’s not forbidden, but let’s see… is it worth it to sleep with that guy and loose the really good one that I have right now?
Well, yes or no. If you are an attractive man, then the answer will always be no, but if its yes, then she’s not your long-term partner anyways, and you’ll lose her at some point when it will be even harder (marriage, children, house, friends etc)
So the idea is to give her the Freedom, but before doing that you must explain her carefully all the consequences of using that freedom. And if she loves you and wants stick around, she’ll make sure to be only yours.
Giving her the freedom of choice, does not mean that you’ll stop being jealous, because you can’t do that, it’s in our nature to be jealous.
So, you’ll still be jealous, and show her that you don’t like when she’s expressing too much attention to other men, but you’ll be expressing your jealousy in a healthy manner from there on.